Yuletide Quarrels: Are Politics at the Holidays Worth It?
Is the likelihood of political arguments in the coming weeks scrooging-up your holiday cheer?
If so, you’re not alone.
Most Americans have grown tired of constant conflict, with a recent Marist poll finding 42% of us “dreading” political discussions at holiday get-togethers.
Are you practicing your zingers as you sharpen your turkey knife?
If so, it may be a good time to think realistically about the potential outcomes of diving into divisive issues at the dinner table.
We all have at least ONE relative whose opinions seem to be somewhere between slightly misled and outright offensive. Maybe you used to agree to disagree, but these days both you – and they – have a harder time keeping quiet. (My thoughts on how we are being manipulated into constant conflict HERE.) We’ve all been there: an off-hand remark begets a response, then another, tempers flare and things fall apart.
It's always tempting to engage. But is it worth it?
Studies have found most Americans, when asked what activities provide them the greatest sense of meaning, put “time with family and friends” at the top of the list.
While our political perspective is one of the things we consider part of our identity, sometimes passionately so, it is a lesser priority and doesn’t make the list. Why? Because - as is a surprise to no one – politics does not make us happy.
Time with loved ones brings us joy. Politics does not.
So why are so many of us letting something that does not make us happy derail the very thing that we say we want the most? Great question, and one we should all be asking ourselves before gathering for cherished time with loved ones.
Before slipping into yuletide quarrels, ask yourself the following questions:
What will the impact be on others present? Stress and discomfort? If so, respect the hard work your host has done to ensure everyone has a nice time, and don’t take the bait.
Are you realistically going to change anyone’s perspective?
It’s more likely the conversation will escalate and go off the rails.
This is not a reflection on you or on them.
The reality is special interests have spent billions wrapping the information we consume in inflammatory rhetoric focused on “likes,” “shares,” and “follows,” rather than facts or objectivity. The unfortunate result is that we, and those we disagree with, are increasingly living in parallel worlds where even the most basic facts are up for debate. This is probably NOT a nut you’re going to crack while passing the sweet potatoes.
What’s your real priority? Whatever mind-bending conspiracy theory or absurd social media post comes up will be entirely forgotten before your next holiday. Chances are your priority is the relationship with your loved one, so consider the potential cost before engaging. They likely have a good heart, as do you, or at least you have some shared history. Focus on that.
Meaningful relationships take years to build.
They also provide us critical support through life’s inevitable challenges.
If, like most Americans, time with family and friends is at the top of your priority list; approach the coming weeks mindful of staying focused on what’s most important to YOU, not someone else.
You’ll be glad you did.
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Daniel S. Holt is the founder of Washington based Anchorage Partners LLC