When Teens Get Cancelled
“What happens if my kid gets ‘cancelled’?”
We’ve had many conversations with parents of teens in recent years. Every one of them nervously asks this same question.
Unfortunately, given our current social media environment, the anwer is not encouraging.
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If your teenager gets “cancelled,” they will find themselves in the middle of a public shaming that is as quick as it is relentless. The ensuing days will likely subject your child to a relatively predictable pattern of negative outcomes:
Social ostracism: Shunned by their peers and community, cancelled teens are likely to experience feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Cyberbullying: Cancel culture often devolves into cyberbullying, with teens being subjected to harassment, threats, and other forms of abuse both online and in person.
Depression: Being publicly criticized and humiliated traumatizes teenagers. Anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues are frequently the result.
Reputational damage: Social shaming can also have devastating impacts on a teenager’s social status. Exclusion from social events may heighten fears that their friendships and reputation are beyond repair.
Loss of opportunities: A teenager who is cancelled will start to focus on the permanence of social media. They may feel their mistake will impact college and job prospects, compounding their distress about never being able to “recover” from the incident and have a promising future. This impression can foster a sense of hopelessness that is particularly damaging.
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In contrast to the high school experience of generations past, teens now dwell in the parallel universe of social media, where “likes and shares” are the ultimate source of affirmation.
Incentivized to push the envelope for attention, it’s no wonder things can sometimes go too far. Teenagers make mistakes – we’ve all been there – but now those mistakes truly can follow them forever, and the impact can be devastating.
So what can you do?
Be prepared.
Have a conversation with your kid about the potential consequences of poor decisions.
Encourage them to conduct themselves as if “the camera is always on.”
It sounds harsh, but – depending on the kid and your level of concern – you might want to show them examples to drive the point home.
Should you one day find your child in the middle of a torrent of negative attention:
Act quickly. Time is of the essence.
Contact a mental health professional. Your son or daughter may be in much greater distress than you realize.
Check out our recommendations in “Seven Steps to Help a Cancelled Kid” and put them into practice.
Reach out to us if you need advice. We’re here to help.
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Daniel S. Holt is the founder of Washington based Anchorage Partners LLC